Little f

30 Okt

Since three month I love you and maybe you had feelings for me. You made a lot for me and I made a lot for you. Maybe we didn’t made every time what the other one expected. I guess you gave up a lot and changed a lot, just to make me feel happy and comfortable. I’m the same, tried my best. I didn’t cared my friends, I stopped meeting my friends and inviting students and make parties. Three month in love, I want you always with me, 24 hours, 7 days, 52 weeks a year. I can’t get this. I need you, but not just sleep and watch movies. I need you talk, discuss, argue, philosophy, thinking. I can buy you a flower, a phone, safe for a car or a house, but you are still strange to me. Keeping faces means hide and cheat, make me comfortable and you don’t like my smile, my situation, my body, my thinking, my food, the time you spend with me … It’s hurting me and you, then just leave. I hate fake smile, I hate fake voice, I hate all kind of making people comfortable when I or you don’t like them.
The day you watched a movie in my house, I must say we didn’t watched together, You always watch alone, and your bike was stolen, I felt you made me guilty for that. I’m pessimist, I even thought, maybe you just hide it to get some benefits. I love you, but why I should show it to someone when I feel all time you just pretend. I’m wrong. We don’t talk much. So my feeling is what I feel and think. And I also think that you expect and want things you never said to me. We are humans, we can’t read the mind of other people.
Even when I want to buy flowers or a phone or bike or a ring, I can’t do that alone. I don’t know chinese. Everything I must buy with friends.
I cried often for you. Maybe that’s normal for me this year.
I enjoyed today to have some students here. I love to eat and drink together. I like parties. I feel good and I enjoy it. I was sad, I am sad, but I also enjoy and be happy.
Come back to my life, accept just half of my life and don’t try to change all of me and I will accept all of you. I will not change you. You don’t have to follow me, we plan together.
I love you


5 Okt

Play, to win.
Love, to get a baby.
Eat, to be full.
Talk, to make friends.
Study, to pass.
Sports, to loose weight.
Drink, to get drunk.
Work, to make money.
Healthy, to get old.
iPhone, to show.
Gift, to be accepted.
Walk, to reach a point.
Care, to come together.
Cry, to get something.

Life, to die. That’s our benefit, so …

Play and let win.
Love without expect to be loved.
Eat without getting full.
Talk to give answers to the lonely and hurted.
Study to get knowledge.
Sport to breathe.
Drink without get drunk.
Work to help.
Healthy to feel comfortable.
iPhone use earphones.
Gift just to give.
Walk to see.
Care because they need you.
Cry because you can’t change it.

Life, to make people happy.


18 Sep

20130918-065051.jpgI’m sitting in the library. I guess they have a face check at the entry. No beauties allowed today. It’s quiet. No music, nobody dance. People are sleeping, painting in books, eating or drinking. Nobody sells beer. I’m really thirsty and a cold beer would be nice. Before I came here, I ate an ice cream. That was nice. I am starting to miss the sweet cold taste of this chocolate vanilla ice. The fans make sounds by cutting the air into pieces. A piece of pizza is also more interesting than this stupid bar. I should know before, a bar called “library” can not be a nice place. I just was wondering why little f goes here every day. It’s not that kind of club to meet the handsome muscle trained boy, it’s not the place for a great conversation, it’s not the place to enjoy the scenery and it’s not at all romantic. Everywhere cans and bottles with water or tea on the tables. The people and I’m not talking about five or six, no. It must be hundreds of human beings in this room sitting on chairs watching holes into books or sleeping on page sixty nine. It’s a curious place. What makes this club or bar, I still don’t know what it real is, so attractive for them? The chairs made from wood looking old, the tables not much younger, maybe double or three times older than the people which are sitting on them. I don’t understand. This new style of entertainment makes me thinking. What will be the future of this kids? Why they don’t study, why they are looking so bored, ready to jump, nearly dead? This kind of enjoying life is not understandable. Watching in the water of cooking noodles is more interesting, but the people still stay. I guess they even don’t need go to the toilet, they use all of their energy to look bored. There will be nothing to do on toilet, only washing hands and face after touching and sleeping on all this dirty old books, written by old already dead people. Maybe it’s time. Time to shout, time to sing and dance on a table … or just snoring with one hundred twenty eight decibel sleeping on a table in the middle of this “library” called club. It’s more interesting to sell vegetables on the street and sort the bad ones out to the rubbish. It’s more interesting to sell meat in the heat of the noonsun and catching the flies which flying around the bloody bones. I see how the characters, the letters, the A’s and B’s dancing in the eyes of the reading girl. She can’t put the letters together to make and understand words. The characters just passing her eyes, like a barcode scanner without processor to make the scans into excel . Nothing, read and gone, nothing left. The brain seems still bored and empty. Little machines without connection to each other. They fighting alone and are too weak to build their house of life. Waiting for something, waiting for someone, bored and jealous about the sleeping pages in all these books. I can see in their eyes, why I not let just this one page unread, just this, just one … one second of sleep. Tired because of tiredness, bored because of boredom. Give them a little miaoing cat, a birthdaysong, a cake and a box of beer. Wake them up, life starts now. No happiness in a single face … oh, wrong there is a girl smiling. I guess she got a nice message on her mobile. Maybe you know a boy or a girl in this club that is called “library”, so just send him or her a nice message. Make them smile, invite them, they are just waiting that their life can begin.

  • Author: danyelo
  • Category: Handy

she: are you foreigner?

me: no i’m chinese, look my face!

she: where are you from?

me: germany!

she: oh, japan.
(takes a book from her bag)
this is a book about foreign countries. can you help me.
(opens a page with only chinese characters)

me: that’s not japanese. i can’t read it.

she: oh. where is germany? i do not know that country.

me: in the south of japan, next to atlantis.


7 Feb

Ja, ja, ich weiß, ich sollte nicht computer spielen. Aber wie immer, wenn ich sorgen habe, kann ich nicht schlafen. Ich kann nicht bleiben, das Eis wird dünn. Ich will meine kleine mitnehmen, sie ihren Peinigern entreißen. Doch sie hat Angst vielleicht keine gemeinsame gesicherte Zukunft auf diesem Erdteil zu haben. … und Montag ruft schon meine neue Arbeit in einer Stadt weniger westlicher schneller kulinarischer Ausprägung. Dort genießt man Suppen nicht aus Schüsseln oder tiefen Tellern. Nein, die Spezialität sind klein portionierte Süppchen, serviert in chinesischen Ravioli. Man beißt diese an einer Ecke auf und nuckelt die kleine gedämpfte Maultasche erst aus und verzehrt diese daraufhin. Es ist sinnvoll etwas zu warten, denn die Suppe kann ziemlich heiss sein. Um satt zu werden bestellt der geübte Chinese 20 bis 40 stück, die wahlweise mit Gemüse oder gehacktem zusätzlich zur Suppe gefüllt sind. Guten Appetit in Kaifeng! Falls du mich besuchen kommst, bring mir doch bitte im Tausch eine Currywurst, ein Döner oder ein Leberkäsebrötchen mit.